


Day 4: Mistletoe Menace

by MsCaptainWinchester (rons_pigwidgeon)



Series: 12 Days of Spideypool Christmas [4]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Boys Kissing, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Flirting, M/M, Mistletoe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 01:32:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17193965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rons_pigwidgeon/pseuds/MsCaptainWinchester
Summary: Avengers Tower has a mistletoe problem, and everyone knows the culprit is Deadpool. Everyone except the number one victim of said mistletoe, the one and only Spider-Man.





	Day 4: Mistletoe Menace

****1** **

“Someone put up mistletoe. What a cute idea!” Doreen gushed, pointing above Peter’s head at the sprig of leaves hung from the doorway into the common room. She kissed Peter on the cheek, and Tippy hopped onto his shoulder to do the same.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen mistletoe in real life,” Peter said, blushing a little at the kisses. Tippy’s little whiskers tickled his cheek through his mask. He was growing used to having a squirrel climb him now that Doreen had joined the Avengers. It was like having a tiny cat around the Tower.

“I wonder who put it up. It doesn’t seem like something most of the guys would be into," Doreen said, holding her hand out for Tippy to hop back onto her again.

“I don’t know. Should make things interesting, though, right?”

“Definitely.” Doreen winked at him with a grin.

 

****2** **

“Oh look, mistletoe,” Peter heard someone say behind him. He turned to find Wade standing at the refrigerator next to him. Above their heads was another spring of mistletoe.

“I thought there was one in the front hall? Do we need two?” he asked, frowning up at the small bundle hanging from the ceiling.

“You can never have too much mistletoe, Webs,” Wade said as he slipped a hand around Peter’s waist. “Shall we?” he asked, and waited for Peter’s reluctant nod before dipping down to kiss him, masked lips to masked lips. Peter found himself up on his toes, trying to get closer without realizing what he was doing. His belly fluttered when they pulled away. 

“Do you, uh, know who’s putting them up? Over the refrigerator’s a weird choice.”

“I don’t know about that. Two people up looking for a late-night snack? Sounds like a perfect opportunity for a little smooching if you ask me.” Wade groped his ass with a wink. He’d done it so many times by now that Peter didn’t even mind.

“Do a lot of late-night snack snooping? I’m pretty sure you don’t even have a room here.” Peter slid from his arms with a smirk and grabbed an energy drink from the fridge.

“Like you wouldn’t let me crash with you if I needed to.”

“Absolutely not. You probably wear your boots to bed,” Peter told him as he walked away, unsurprised when Wade followed him. “I bet you’re a cover hog.”

“Think about my bed-sharing habits a lot, do you?”

“No,” Peter said, too fast. When he spied Wade’s mask pulled tight with a grin, he scowled. “Stop looking at me like that. Go away. I’m trying to finish testing the samples Dr. Banner left for me. I don’t need you distracting me.”

“Don’t be like that, Spidey. You know you love having my around. I keep you grounded.”

“You keep me frustrated. Why are you even here? It’s two in the morning.”

“Came to check and make sure my favorite spider was getting his beauty rest. You should be in bed, Webs. It’s too late for little heroes to be awake.”

“I’m not little, and I thought you said I was already beautiful. Why do I need beauty rest?”

“Just think how quick you’d knock those baddies out if you had that rest, huh? You’d glow brighter than the sun.”

Peter turned in front of the lab door to give Wade an offended look. “I don’t do that already?”

“You do for me, baby boy. But I’m a special case.”

Peter snorted. “Yeah, you are. Will you leave me alone so I can finish my work, or are you going to follow me into the lab?”

Wade looked from Peter to the lab door and back again like he was actually considering it. “How about another kiss for the road, and I’ll get out of your hair?”

Peter gave the ceiling above the door a significant look. “I see no mistletoe.”

Wade stepped back, rubbing his chest like he’d been shot. “You’re going to regret that, Webs. Mark my words. I’m going to cover this place in mistletoe.”

“Tony would have you quartered and the parts thrown into four different oceans.”

“I’d get back together eventually.” He shrugged, leaning a shoulder against the wall next to the door. Peter gave him a withering look and opened the door in his face.

“Good night,” he said as he walked back into the lab, not looking behind him to see if Wade was following. The quiet that followed as the door closed told him he didn’t.

If he had a hard time concentrating on analyzing the samples afterward, well, no one would know but him. And maybe J.A.R.V.I.S.

 

****3****  

“I deserved that,” Peter told the empty hallway when he walked out of the lab the next morning to find a fresh bundle of mistletoe hanging above the lab door.

 

****6** **

“This is getting ridiculous. We don’t need six mistletoe in the tower. None of us like each other that much,” Peter whined as Wade pointed at yet another damned sprig hanging in the doorway to the living room.

“Speak for yourself. I like you more than maple syrup,” Wade told him. He slunk closer, knowing Peter wasn’t going to push him away. Peter let him pull his mask up over his mouth and press their bare lips together, his own hands pressed flat against Wade’s stomach for lack of anywhere else to put them.

“Don’t think I don’t know this is all you. You know mistletoe is poisonous, right?”

“So’s chocolate for a dog, but that didn't stop me from eating a pint of Chocolate Therapy for breakfast.”

“You aren’t a dog…” Peter tried, but Wade was already leaning in to kiss him again. He shouldn’t have allowed it, shouldn’t be tolerating any of Wade’s mistletoe nonsense, but he couldn’t resist the warm press of his rough lips against Peter’s. After Christmas was over, he was going to have to have a serious think over what he’d been allowing Wade to get away with, but for now there was mistletoe to attend to.

 

****10** **

Peter stared up at the little sprig as if it was causing him physical pain, and not just the headache he could feel forming. “Why do I have a feeling if I told you where my apartment was, my entire ceiling would just be mistletoe by now?” he asked.  He hadn’t even heard Deadpool approach, but he knew he was there. This one wasn’t even subtle. There was exactly no reason mistletoe should be hung above the door to his room in the Tower, and yet there one was. The only one in the entire hallway lined with bedrooms for members and non-members alike.

“I can make that dream happen for you, baby boy, just say the word,” Wade said.

“I’m not telling you where I live. You’d never leave me alone.”

“Not true. I’d let you sleep in while I made you breakfast in bed. I’d let you get your work done while I made you dinner. I’d let you take showers by yourself,” Wade listed off as he looped his arms around Peter’s waist in what was becoming a familiar hold. “Sometimes,” he added.

Peter blew out an impatient breath, but he was already pulling his mask up for Wade’s kiss.

“Pretty sure you’re supposed to kiss once under the mistletoe, now make out for half an hour,” Kate told them as she passed them in the hall sometime later, her bow bobbing on her back. Peter pulled away with a blush and escaped into his room, shutting the door in Wade’s face when he tried to follow. This was getting out of hand.

 

****25****  

“Would you two find a bed, already? This mating dance is starting to give me a headache,” Clint told them as he walked past them to plop down on the common room couch, the remote to the widescreen in one hand and a beer in the other.

Peter jumped out of Wade’s arms like he’d been burned at the sound. His spider sense hadn’t even gone off, he’d been so distracted by Wade’s kisses. “We aren’t doing a mating dance,” he snapped, glaring at Clint.

“Whatever, it’s not even Christmas anymore. Doesn’t one of you have an apartment you could go make out in?”

“He has a point, Spidey-babe. We could totally go make out at my place. The couch is comfy and everything,” Wade told him, hands going to cup Peter’s ass through his suit to pull him close again.

“I’m not… this wasn’t… There was mistletoe!” Peter stuttered out, blushing furiously. He tried to step back from Wade a second time, but found Wade’s arms around him too hard to get out from between.

“Yeah, I wonder why that is.” Clint gave Deadpool a significant look. He made no reaction, not even a lip twitch. Clint turned the television on and proceeded to ignore them.

“It is after Christmas, Wade. I don’t think mistletoe rules still count after the holidays are over,” Peter said in a quieter voice, turning back to Wade, hoping Clint’s hearing aide wasn’t turned up enough to overhear over the basketball game he was watching.

“Still the holidays until after New Years, baby boy.”

Wade had a point…

Clint threw his empty can at them a few minutes later, and they scattered like ants. Peter could taste Wade on his lips for the rest of the day.

****

****0** **

Tony had the Tower cleared of holiday decorations the day after New Years, and Peter found he missed the garden of greenery that had sprung up all over the Tower’s ceilings in the past month. He wandered through the labs in a sulk, and tried to tell himself it was because the festive decorations were gone, but he knew it was a lie.

“You could just ask him out, you know,” Jessica told him as they sparred in a training room one evening. Peter knew he was too tense for sparring, but he liked spending time with another spider, the two of them chasing each other around the ceiling and attempting to catch each other in their webs. It was nice to be able to stretch his muscles without having to worry about criminals for a night, and most of the other Avengers were too slow for him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Peter told her, trying to snag her ankle with a web, but missing.

“Deadpool. You aren’t fooling anyone. Just ask him out. You know he’ll say yes.”

Peter thought about protesting, but Jessica had him in a web before he could bother. He really was off his game. “I can’t date Deadpool,” he said after dangling by his feet for longer than it should have taken him to get free.

Jessica descended on a web a few feet in front of him, their faces inches apart. “Why not? You like him. He can’t keep his hands off you when you let him. I’m not into him personally, but if that’s your thing, why not go for it?”

“What would it look like if the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man started dating an infamous mercenary? All of the Avengers hate him.”

“Tony’s the only one who really hates him. Sure, he’s a hard guy to trust, let alone give any respect to, but he’s not bad in a pinch. And last I heard, he hasn’t killed anyone since you asked him not to.”

Peter hesitated, nervous energy bubbling in his stomach. Jess was right, Wade hadn’t killed anyone since Peter had asked. And Cap talked to Wade like he was an equal most of the time. “I just don’t want to disappoint anyone.”

“Maybe this is just my age talking, but life’s too short to worry about what other people think of you. Yeah, it’s important that the people you protect trust you to save them when they need it, but if you let other people’s opinions dictate what you do with your life, you’re never going to be happy.”

Peter chewed on that for a long moment. “Maybe you’re right. I’ll think about it, I guess.”

“Good. Now can we get back to real sparring? I can’t kick your butt properly if you’re too distracted thinking about your crush to keep your head in the game.”

Peter slipped out of the webbing tangling his feet in a fluid motion and shot a web at her, missing her by a hair as she darted away. “I’ll show you who’s going to kick whose butt, Drew.”

“That’s more like it!” she laughed, dodging another attempt to snag her and swinging across the room.

 

****1000** **

Peter could hear the keys rattling in the lock long before the door swung open. Wade stood frozen in the doorway, staring into the apartment with wide, brown eyes. “What the…”

Peter held his hands wide apart and glanced up to where he had webbed an entire florist’s shop full of mistletoe to the ceiling. “So, I know the holidays are over, but I thought we could keep the tradition up anyway?” he said, heart pounding in his chest as he awaited Wade's reaction.

Wade’s eyes drifted from the ceiling to Peter’s unmasked face, recognition registering slowly. “Spidey?” he asked, stepping into the apartment with caution.

“I didn’t have a good way to tell you how to find me, so I thought I’d come to you. I hope you don’t mind?”

A dark look fell over Wade’s face. It sent a shiver of want down Peter’s spine. “Oh baby boy, now that you’re here, I’m never letting you go,” he said, stalking closer. The door swung closed behind him. Wade’s arms were around him before the lock clicked in place.

“I think I could live with that. And it’s Peter,” he said, just before Wade kissed him. Peter grinned against his lips. Maybe mistletoe wasn’t so bad after all.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want writing updates from me, you can follow me on Twitter [@RonsPigwidgeon](https://twitter.com/RonsPigwidgeon) or Tumblr at [MsCaptainWinchester](https://mscaptainwinchester.tumblr.com/).
> 
> And if you'd like to come yell about Spideypool with me, join the 18+ Discord server I co-mod, [Isn't It Bromantic](https://discord.gg/cfZEbNv)!


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